Of Journaling

These past weeks has been a calm and productive week for me. I've gained back my sense of clarity and focus that was lost amidst all the test and challenges that I faced in the past months. The crisis that I (or maybe we) went through has truly tested my patience and faith in what I believe in. Persevering through it all was not a choice. It is something that needs to be done. I'm glad that I have a supportive circle around me to lend support, motivation and encouragement to soldier on the tough times. Alhamdulillahh.

On a different side of life, a.k.a. PhD student, it has been an enriching learning curve. I've learned so much and am hungry for more. The insight I gained from Dr Lateef class has been invaluable to me. I'm truly inspired and in awe of his depth of knowledge and his handling of the class. May Allah bless you always Dr Lateef. I would definitely sit-in in his class in the future when I've collected my data.

In Adv Quali class.

After taking Qualitative class with Dr Mursyid and now Advanced Qualitative with Dr Lateef, I can say that I'm sold (with using the Qualitative method for my study). Every classes that I attended kind of reaffirm my conviction on wanting to do qualitative study. For some reasons, it felt closer to my heart and my personality. Whatever that means. For a start, I am not that fond of numbers and maths and stats, but I did take it early on in the semester, but to only dropped it later. Coz I don't think I can cope and catch-up my understanding of it. I feel like I'm not 'there' or have not 'arrived' to an understanding that I wish I should. But, for qualitative study, I can really connect to it on some level. It feels like I'm being re-introduced to things that I've known long before. Things that I've always wanted to do and resonates so much with me. Maybe it's the ways Dr Lateef conduct the class that makes me feel this way, or his command of language that every words he said to describe somethings feels satisfying to my ear. Being a language lover myself, correct words can touch and give impact like to numbers can. That's why I think the vocab that Dr Lateef used in class feels 'delicious' and I'm absorbing it as a sponge would.

Now that I'm back to blogging/journaling, I feel the urgency to do it as often as I can now. Partly due to the topic that I learned in class. Reflexivity. It's a measure to ensure the trustworthiness of a qualitative researcher. By being reflexive in our thinking, and by writing out what we feel, see and observe. This will later can be revisited to see the thought process of our thinking. So, this is what I'm doing now I guess. To write our what I think and feel. And to exercise my writing skills and to better put into words things that are abstract. Hopefully I'll be able to be consistent in this part. InshaAllah.

Post-class. Walking to the parking lot to head home.