Coming to a 'Realisation'

I always feel compelled to immediately write my thought processes after coming from Dr Lateef's Advanced Qualitative class. I'm thoroughly inspired and motivated to quickly do all the tips he shared and to try and experience what he said in class.

I believe I'm not alone in this. When chatting with friends post-class, they all felt the same too. They felt energised (not physically, coz it's a night class mind you, but in passion and drive) to explore this new space that we call qualitative study. We're absorbing the class like a sponge. 

Dr Lateef structured the class in a way that make it more interesting to be in to. He usually starts it with some housekeeping. Either he makes a few announcements, or students ask him questions that has been nagging them for a while. And then, we have the presentation from the group assigned. While this go on, he'll chirped in to share his thoughts and describe the issues at hand in a more relatable way. He'll emphasise and re-emphasise points that we should be focusing on and also give useful practical tips on how to address certain issue. What I like about his way in joining or assisting the presentation are his politeness and tact in doing it. He would acknowledge the ideas of the presenter and ask for clarification if need so. He would also open the discussion to any issue he felt relevant and somehow 'force' us to think of the best way to approach it. We would respond to the issue as we know best, and he'll acknowledge it and keep on nudging us to the right direction. Sometimes one of us gets the most suitable response, but sometimes we didn't. In the end, he'll wrap up the discussion by throwing out other possible options and the different context that we can view the issue. He almost never prescribe the 'best' way to do things. He will just guide you on how to think of the best solution in any given situation, this is by having a strong guiding principle in qualitative study that we are learning about.

Pheww! That felt good to be written out. I think I almost never felt a class as inspiring and invigoratingly exciting to my passion and drive before. Everything he said hit the right spot? or maybe it's the timing, now I need it more than before. I dunno. But what I do know is I love his class. 

Ok, so, yesterday was class as usual, and although we have discuss this point a few times before, I felt like it's yesterday that I come to a realisation of what it truly means. Now do I understand it on a deeper level. And it felt almost like I see lights at the end of the tunnel. Hahaha, maybe not to that extent. But, something along that line.

What was it that I have actually come to a realisation about if you ask?
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That writing is not an end product which you do after you are sure that you have everything you need before you start. Instead, writing is a process in itself. It is a process of generating ideas and thoughts. It forces us to put into words and sentences those abstract ideas in our head. The moment we start writing, that is when our head will start whirring and being active to churn out new ideas. So, this is a cycle that needs to be repeated to reach a level where we are at ease with

 So, that's generally what I have a realisation about. It also answers my question on people who say they are constantly writing their thesis. It actually mean that they are doing a process of thinking, through writing and more writing of their thesis. The writing is the process of reaching to certain understanding of what they are doing. It's not merely something that you do in the end after you are done with the previous phase. But, bear in mind, this view on writing as a way of generating new ideas could be best explain those who are doing a qualitative study. Because the nature of qualitative study makes it an iterative (cycle) process as compared to the quantitative one. Qualitative study also demand the researcher to keep on revisiting the previous point and weaving it nicely together with the new ones in the latter. Which in my point a very difficult thing to do. 

Fuhh...! Still a lot more to do and learn. Till next post then.

Well, a selfie here wouldn't hurt right?

*back to writing my proposal* 😁😁

Aishah ZA

On the Surface

A lot of times upon reading journal article on Qualitative study, I find myself visualising how I want to write my own study when the time comes. It looks linear in my head. I have the idea, I draft it, and the I write the final report. But, when I read more, I find the authors highlighting the challenges in writing up a qualitative study. I would say (in my head) 'emm..is it really THAT difficult?' I know later I'm gonna eat up my own words.

But for now, I have this feeling that I only understand this stuff (qualitative study, writing, design) on a superficial level. It's like now I only am peeking on the surface and there is a lot inside that I have not yet see or understand yet. I am 'viewing' all these qualitative researchers' experience from the outside. I feel I am not yet part of this community of active qualitative researcher. Well, of course I am not, I am only just starting my journey..😆😆 But, I am excited to be part of this. 

Just putting into words what I think after reading the journal for week 10 of class. It talks about writing up a qualitative study report. Hence, my reflection on this.

Totally unrelated pic, but heck, I love how sweet he looks in this pic. Muadz, my hurricane 👻

Of Journaling

These past weeks has been a calm and productive week for me. I've gained back my sense of clarity and focus that was lost amidst all the test and challenges that I faced in the past months. The crisis that I (or maybe we) went through has truly tested my patience and faith in what I believe in. Persevering through it all was not a choice. It is something that needs to be done. I'm glad that I have a supportive circle around me to lend support, motivation and encouragement to soldier on the tough times. Alhamdulillahh.

On a different side of life, a.k.a. PhD student, it has been an enriching learning curve. I've learned so much and am hungry for more. The insight I gained from Dr Lateef class has been invaluable to me. I'm truly inspired and in awe of his depth of knowledge and his handling of the class. May Allah bless you always Dr Lateef. I would definitely sit-in in his class in the future when I've collected my data.

In Adv Quali class.

After taking Qualitative class with Dr Mursyid and now Advanced Qualitative with Dr Lateef, I can say that I'm sold (with using the Qualitative method for my study). Every classes that I attended kind of reaffirm my conviction on wanting to do qualitative study. For some reasons, it felt closer to my heart and my personality. Whatever that means. For a start, I am not that fond of numbers and maths and stats, but I did take it early on in the semester, but to only dropped it later. Coz I don't think I can cope and catch-up my understanding of it. I feel like I'm not 'there' or have not 'arrived' to an understanding that I wish I should. But, for qualitative study, I can really connect to it on some level. It feels like I'm being re-introduced to things that I've known long before. Things that I've always wanted to do and resonates so much with me. Maybe it's the ways Dr Lateef conduct the class that makes me feel this way, or his command of language that every words he said to describe somethings feels satisfying to my ear. Being a language lover myself, correct words can touch and give impact like to numbers can. That's why I think the vocab that Dr Lateef used in class feels 'delicious' and I'm absorbing it as a sponge would.

Now that I'm back to blogging/journaling, I feel the urgency to do it as often as I can now. Partly due to the topic that I learned in class. Reflexivity. It's a measure to ensure the trustworthiness of a qualitative researcher. By being reflexive in our thinking, and by writing out what we feel, see and observe. This will later can be revisited to see the thought process of our thinking. So, this is what I'm doing now I guess. To write our what I think and feel. And to exercise my writing skills and to better put into words things that are abstract. Hopefully I'll be able to be consistent in this part. InshaAllah.

Post-class. Walking to the parking lot to head home.