October 2019 Review

Oct has come and go all too quickly. As time would I suppose. Things seem to move at a scary speed these days. I barely am aware of a lot things that are happening around me. It felt like I'm standing in a middle of a fast-forward situation and I can only observe how fast it goes.

All this is not surprising at all. It has been mentioned even in the Quran. But to witness and experience it as clearly now is scary. Because it signals the near to end of time.

Okay, now back to what I really want to write about in this post. Some review of what happened in October:

1. Students' exam and marking of papers.
2. Some meetings in between.
3. Conferences! ICERP 2019 and IRMIC 2019 (So relieved that it's done now, don't wanna think about conference no more till end of the year)
4. Wrapping up the review of students' mark.
5. We paint our house!!! Well, not the whole house, but the living, dining and hallway areas. The crazy things I do when I have tons of other things to do. Yes, dats me. 
6. Prepping for next month craziness - school holiday, new sem, and my seminar presentation!

That's about it I think. To more productive and more writing in the future too. inshaAllah.

October 2019

It's October now, and that means it's exam month for the students in my workplace. And it also means a bit more free time for me to focus on PhD work that's been pending for some times. I'm glad I got to meet my SV, Dr Arshad to discuss the progress. A few things has been cleared alhamdulillah, it's now time to properly arrange it and tidy it up.

Entering 2nd year of PhD study, I thought by now I have somewhat master the art of balancing my tasks. It turns out, I'm still as how I used to when I started. Not sure if it's a good thing, or maybe I'm just better at letting things go and go with the flow? I dunno anymore. It REALLY feels like a rollercoaster tide. The emotions, the feelings, the never-ending work, the life, the everything. One day I woke up feeling pumped, and the next day I feel like I'm stuck in the deep. Oh myy....

Staying positive despite it all. This nonsense rambling looks exactly like what's in my head. A mishmash of everything....😭😭

Stuck in a Rut

Well, the weeks leading up to Eid-Adha, and the school holiday that comes after it has been long and draggy if I'm being honest. A lot of my work-plan got postponed and my mojo went on holiday too. A far too long a holiday I'd say. Now that I'm back at work, my mojo did not. Huh.

I've been feeling stuck lately. There are so much that I need to do, but the dread of starting and the fear of not finishing has somehow stopped me on my track. I'm in limbo, living in my own head. I hate this feeling. But at the moment I'm not strong enough to fight it. I want to, but I just can't seem to. Sighhhhhhh.

I think I need to climb back up to the surface..it's suffocating and soul-crushing being down here.